Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hai

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hai
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to
Husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
Wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai

A perfect gift for u!

A perfect gift for u!
Absolutely no cost, no batteries required,
Non-taxable, silent performance,
Extremely personal, fully returnable
It’s a SMILE from me to u!

Wife: I will die

Wife: I will die
Husband: I will also die
Wife: Why will you die
Husband: Because main itni khushi
Bardasht nahin kar sakta
When a man steals your wife
there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.

1 tree can start a forest,

1 tree can start a forest,
1 smile can start a friendship
1 touch can show love and care
person like u can make life worth living
One tree can start a forest,
One smile can start a friendship
One touch can show love and care
One person like you can make life worth living!

It’s a SMILE from me 2 you

A perfect gift 4 you
Absolutely no cost, no batteries required,
Non-taxable, silent performance,
Extremely personal, fully returnable
It’s a SMILE from me 2 you
Husband: You will never succeed
in making that dog obeys you!
Wife: Well, it?s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with you at first.

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan

A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan
Husband:What was THAT 4
Wife:I found a paper in ur pocket, with the name Jenny on it.

Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

I was in love

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love and didnt notice.

Diff between Dava & Daru

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


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Dost kabhi apni

Dost kabhi apni wife ko naraz na karna,kyouki ye hi aap ke taqdeer ka khazana hai,us ko naraz kya matlab aap ne apne naseeb ko naraz kya……

Wht iz ten years wid me?

Wife:Wht iz ten years wid me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:Wht iz $1000 4 me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
Me apni wife se bahat mohabbat karta hoon.par kya karu wo mujh se naraz hai.

Biwi Ghusse Main

Biwi Ghusse Main
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!
Husband Payar Se
To Phir Itni Dayer Se Kha kyun Rahi Ho
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.

Wife cam hom wid a goat.


Wife cam hom wid a goat.
Husband asked”Iz bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri ha!”
Husband:”Bakri sa hi poch raha hon”
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha

Wife:Who jo samnay admi drnk kar rah hai

Wife:Who jo samnay admi drnk kar rah hai ,
Usko mainne ten saal phele shaadi se inkar kia tha..
Aaj tak sharab pe raha hai
Husband: Itni lambi celebration.
Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,
Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:

Janu kash aap SMS hotay

Wife:
Janu kash aap SMS hotay,
Main aap ko save karlati,
Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti,
Main her haftay tumhe change karta

Your dad paying the bill !!!

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

A small argument between a couple

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: who is scared of a mouse!

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

Mechanical engineer wife

mechanical engineer wife
calls his husband and said:
Your spare part has arrived (you become a father)
Husband replied: check it below there is Nut of Bolt.

Still have my wife…

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”


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Wife: I will die.

Wife: I will die.
Husband: I will also die.
Wife: Why will you die?
Husband: Because main itni khushi
Bardasht nahin kar sakta.

It connects me & you.

Q na hum apni shadi ki salgirah pr
dawat k lye bakra ziba karen?
Shohar: ghalti to me ne ki ha?
to saza us gharib ko Q dein.”
Cellphones can be irritating.
Have to buy a card.
Have to recharge battery.
Msgs get delayed
There is only one thing I love about it.
It connects me & you.

Bivi: ap ny pichly sal

Bivi: ap ny pichly sal
Eid py meri ami ko Lohy ka bed banwa k dia tha, is dafa kia irada hy?
Shohr: is sal us men current chornay ka irada hy
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to
Husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
Wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.

Aisa Aadmi Jo Galati Par Ho

Aisa aadmi jo galati par ho
aur haar maan ley,
woh?
AQALMAND.
Aur
Aisa shakhs jo galati par na ho
magar phir bhi haar maan ley,
woh?
HUSBAND.
Husband: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Wife: Thanks, but promise me,
You will stay there for the rest of your life.

Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!

WIFE , Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi
Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
HUSBAND ,
Nahi ,
Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha,
Wife: If I die what will you do?
Husband: I will be mad!
Wife: Will you marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!

Jazbat ka izhar asaan lafzon mein krein

Wife to husband. Wife: Aaj mere tan,man mein aag laga do.
Husband ne patrol phenk k agg laga di.
Moral?
“jazbat ka izhar asaan lafzon mein krein”

Wife looking in the mirror

Wife looking in the mirror
I look horrible,
fat and ugly,
please say something nice to me.
Husband: Your eye sight is perfect!

Miss You

M: My lovely wife.
I: Is i am wrong in my sms?
S: Sex is not only thing in the life.
S: See, we have everything in our life you, me & our kids & good salaries and home also.

Y: You are everyting to me, my life my wife my jaan.
O: Our life is just a good enough for us. Alhumdullah.
U: U are the lucky one in my world… gave me our sweet family.

LOVE YOU!

Girlfriend is for fun,
Wife is for son,
Girlfriend is night partner,
Wife is life partner,
Girlfriend is tooty fruity,
While wife is Qismath pooti.


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Husband & Wife

Husband:I played RACE last week a & Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:ur Horse PHONED!
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I would surely put U and I together

Jab sey begum

Jab sey begum ney mujhy murgha bana rakha hain
Main ney nazron ki tarhan sir bhi jhuka rakha hain
Bartano aj mere sir pey baraste q ho
Main ney dho dha key tumhain kitna saja rakha hai,
Roz leti he talashi wo police ki manind,
Pochti he kahan paison ko chupa rakha hai
Wohi dunya main muqaddar ka sikandar tehra
Jis ne

Wife: Kal rat tum ….

Wife: Kal rat tum mujhe neend
main galian kyon de rahe the?
Husband: Tumhey ghalatfehmi hoi hai.
Wife: Kesi ghalatfehmi?
Husband: Yehi k main neend main tha.

Wife: Tum mujhe kitna pyar karte ho?

Wife: Tum mujhe kitna pyar karte ho?
Pati: Shahjahan jitna.
Wife: Mere merne k bad Taj Mahal banaoge?
Pati: Maine to plot bhi le liya hai, tum hi der ker rahi ho.
Husband: Tum kaun ho!
Wife: Pagal hogaye kya, apni Biwi ko bhul gaye.
Husband: Nasha har gham bhula deta hai.

If kidney fails,

Husband: u will never succeed
in making that dog obeys u!
Wife: Well, it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot ov trouble wid u at first.
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

It’s YOU When u sM¡le.

A Sad girl was sitting with her husband
Husband: U r d second most beautiful girl, I’ve ever seen.
Girl: Who’s the first?
Husband: It’s YOU When u sM¡le.

A man in Hell asked Devil:

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to Hell is Free.

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”


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Pati Patni Sms

Patni: agar main mar gain to tum keya karoge?
pati: main pagal ho jaunga,
patni: tum dubara sadhi to nahi karogi na!
pati: kaya pata pagal log kuch v har sakta hai!

Year 1.Janu

Hw wman cal their husband in first six years
Year 1.Janu
Year 2.O G.
Year 3.Sunte ho?
Year 1.O bunty ka pappa
Year 1.Khan mar gaye?
Year 1.Tm ate ho k main aaon?
Man at medical store:I need poison Chemist: I can’t sell you.
Man shows his marriage certificate Chemist: Oh! sorry, I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

Wife: If I die wht ll you do?

Wife: If I die wht ll you do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will you marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bi kar sakta hai
Dulha: Aaj se tum hi meri pooja ho,aarti ho,archna ho..
Dulhan: Sharmate huwe,,
aaj se aap b mere liye rahul ho,chetan ho,anand ho,sudip ho,akash ho,pardip ho.!

HUSBAND WIFE

HUSBAND WIFE me larai ho gai,husband ghar se offic chala giya
Raat ko phone kar ke pucha:”Khane me kiya hai
WIFE:zaher
HUBBY:tum kha kar so jao me ata hoon!
A wife never gives a thing
to her husband, whole the life.
what’s that ?
?
?
?
Any Guess
?
?
?
ok
that is a moment of peace.

Jab Is Ka Akhiri

One Dolatmand shaks Sadeed Bimaar Tha,
Jab Is Ka Akhiri Lamhat Kareeb Aye To Doctor Nai Jawab De Dia,
His wife Said:Tm Abhi Nahi mar Saktay,
Khuda Ka Liay Abhi Na Maro.
Martay Huay Shakhs Ne Jawab Dia:BEGUM Mat Ro,SABR Kro,AB m

Nobody teaches

Nobody teaches
volcanoes to erupt,
tsunamis to arise,
hurricanes to sway around,
and
no-one teaches
how to choose a wife
natural disasters just happen!!:

Police aur Ambulance

Bevi : Look A Thief Haz Enterd Our Kitchen
And He Iz Eating the Cake Prepard By Me
Husband: Whom Should I Call
Now Police aur Ambulance..

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.


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Rage R 2 SPEC Specifications:

General:

2G Networks – GSM 900/1800 MHz
Announced – 2009, July

Format:

Form Factor – Bar
Dimensions (mm) – 101x43x15
Weight (gms) – 68

Display:

Type – CSTN
Resolution – 128×128 pixels
No. of Colors – 4096
Size – 1.5 in

Ringtones:

Type Ringtone – 16 SW polyphonic

Battery:

Type Battery – 650mAh
Stand-by – Up to 120.00hrs
Talk time – 3 hrs 00 min

Messaging:

Supported Services – SMS
QWERTY Keyboard – False

Internet & Connectivity:

EDGE – False

Other Features:

Colors – Black
Accessories – Charger, Handsfree

Available features
Vibration Yes
Phonebook Yes
Call Records Yes
Clock Yes
Alarm Yes
Organiser Yes

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Philips S880 Specifications:

General:

2G Networks – GSM 900/1800 MHz
Announced – Q2 2006

Format:

Form Factor – Clamshell
Dimensions (mm) – 88x44x20
Weight (gms) – 80

Display:

Type – CSTN
Resolution – 128×160 pixels
No. of Colors – 65536
Size – 0.0 in

Ringtones:

Type Ringtone – Polyphonic (64 channels), MP3

Memory:

Call Records – dialed and missed calls, 30 received
Internal Memory – 128

Battery:

Type Battery – Li-Ion 720 mAh
Stand-by – Up to 180.00hrs
Talk time – 3 hrs 00 min

Messaging:

Supported Services – EMS, Email, SMS, MMS
QWERTY Keyboard – False

Internet & Connectivity:

EDGE – False
GPRS – Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots), 32 – 48 kbps

Camera:

Camera MP – 0.3
Max. Photo Resolution – 640×480
Max. Video Resolution – 128×104
Camera Flash – No Flash

Other Features:

Colors – Hot Pink, Silver Soul, Black Beat
Accessories – Handsfree, USB Cable, Charger

Available features
Vibration Yes
Phonebook Yes
T9 Dictionary Yes
WAP Yes
USB port Yes
Games Yes
MP3 Player/Support Yes
Clock Yes
Alarm Yes
Organiser Yes

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Philips 588 Specifications:

General:

2G Networks – GSM 900/1800/1900 MHz
Announced – Q2 2005

Format:

Form Factor – Clamshell
Dimensions (mm) – 80x42x19
Weight (gms) – 78

Display:

Type – TFT
Resolution – 128×160 pixels
No. of Colors – 65536
Size – 0.0 in

Ringtones:

Type Ringtone – MP3, Polyphonic (64 channels)

Memory:

Phonebook – Photocall, 500 entries
Call Records – 30 received, dialed and missed calls
Internal Memory – 128

Battery:

Type Battery – Li-Ion 580 mAh
Stand-by – Up to 300.00hrs
Talk time – 5 hrs 00 min

Messaging:

Supported Services – Instant Messaging, SMS, MMS
QWERTY Keyboard – False

Internet & Connectivity:

EDGE – False
WAP – 2.0/xHTML
GPRS – Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots), 32 – 48 kbps

Camera:

Camera MP – 1.3
Max. Photo Resolution – 1280×960
Max. Video Resolution – 128×96
Camera Flash – No Flash

Other Features:

Colors – Elegant Purple, Mystery Black, Reflective White
Java – MIDP 2.0
Accessories – Charger, USB Cable, Handsfree

Available features
Vibration Yes
T9 Dictionary Yes
Infrared Port Yes
USB port Yes
Games Yes
MP3 Player/Support Yes
Clock Yes
Alarm Yes
Organiser Yes

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Philips S800 Specifications:

General:

2G Networks – GSM 900/1800 MHz
Announced – Q1 2006

Format:

Form Factor – Clamshell
Dimensions (mm) – 87x43x21
Weight (gms) – 80

Display:

Type – CSTN
Resolution – 128×160 pixels
No. of Colors – 65536
Size – 0.0 in

Ringtones:

Type Ringtone – MP3, Polyphonic (64 channels)

Memory:

Call Records – 30 received, dialed and missed calls
Internal Memory – 128

Battery:

Type Battery – Li-Ion 720 mAh
Stand-by – Up to 180.00hrs
Talk time – 3 hrs 00 min

Messaging:

Supported Services – EMS, MMS, Email, SMS
QWERTY Keyboard – False

Internet & Connectivity:

EDGE – False
GPRS – 32 – 48 kbps, Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots)

Entertainment:

Games – Yes + Java downloadable

Camera:

Camera MP – 0.3
Max. Photo Resolution – 640×480
Max. Video Resolution – 120×104
Camera Flash – No Flash

Other Features:

Colors – Red Rythm, Silver Soul, Black
Java – MIDP 2.0
Accessories – USB Cable, Handsfree, Charger

Available features
Vibration Yes
Phonebook Yes
T9 Dictionary Yes
Infrared Port Yes
WAP Yes
USB port Yes
MP3 Player/Support Yes
Clock Yes
Alarm Yes
Organiser Yes

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Philips S200 Specifications:

General:

2G Networks – GSM 900/1800 MHz
Announced – Q1 2006

Format:

Form Factor – Bar
Dimensions (mm) – 101x44x18
Weight (gms) – 85

Display:

Type – Monochrome
Resolution – 96×64 pixels
No. of Colors – 1
Size – 0.0 in

Ringtones:

Type Ringtone – Polyphonic (16 channels)

Memory:

Call Records – 30 received, dialed and missed calls

Battery:

Type Battery – Li-Ion 1000 mAh
Stand-by – Up to 330.00hrs
Talk time – 3 hrs 00 min

Messaging:

Supported Services – EMS, SMS
QWERTY Keyboard – False

Internet & Connectivity:

EDGE – False

Other Features:

Colors – Black
Accessories – Charger

Available features
Vibration Yes
Phonebook Yes
T9 Dictionary Yes
Games Yes
Clock Yes
Alarm Yes
Organiser Yes

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